The company I work for puts on a party for the holidays, and all are invited. There are hundreds of employees besides the radiologists that read the studies. The party isn’t a huge hit with the labor however, so the company invites the employees of the hospitals that they are associated with, those that work directly with the radiologists that is. Because of this, the party usually turns into a once a year club fest, curtailed somewhat when they discontinued the open bar, but by no means stifled completely. This is all hearsay though, because I haven’t attended since the first year I worked for the company. Apparently though, the party still gets out of hand, too much so for some. This year they offered a new tactic, someone put out a list of things that annoy uptight people, hoping it would curtail in advance any antics that might be displeasing to some. Rather than come up with a specific company policy on the matter, they found something on the Internet. The items discussed are reminiscent of policies I had to deal with in the military, and the reasoning is even more stifling than anything I had to put up with in my years of service. I guess I have to admit that the years may have softened my memory on this point.
So to begin, the very first line goes like this;
No matter who you are, where you work or what you do for a living, somebody in your company dreads the annual holiday party.
That’s me. I don’t do parties well if there are few people I want to hang out with. At these parties there would be few indeed, as I work only with the radiologists and few others that would attend, and they would be loathe to hang out with the riffraff for any length of time. (Not that I would prefer that, I find most of them to be pompous asses) I can’t say I dread the party, because I don’t attend. I don’t even mind the questions invariably asked about my absence. Anyway, onward;
Employees think the company party imposes on their free time during an already busy season, says J.T. O’Donnell, career expert and co-author of the nationally syndicated weekly column, “J.T. and Dale Talk Jobs.” Workers aren’t paid to go; they’d rather see the amount of money being spent on the party divided into bonus checks; and their definition of "party" means letting loose and being themselves with friends – not acting professional to gain the respect of their co-workers.
Employees know that such parties infringe on their time, because it does. This isn’t a problem really, unless of course employees feel obligated to go. This is discussed further on…
“[Americans] place more emphasis on our careers as a way to define ourselves personally,” O’Donnell says. “At any corporate-sponsored event, we must keep in mind – even if it is begrudgingly – that we must think about our actions and the impact they can have, both positively and negatively, on our careers.”
Unfortunately, this fact is lost on some employees. According to a recent study, 36 percent of employers reported such behavioral problems as excessive drinking, off-color jokes, sexual advances and fistfights at last year’s company party. Fifteen percent of employees who engaged in inappropriate behavior reported a negative impact on his or her career growth.
When work is bad, life is bad, so don’t take any risks this holiday season. Here are the top 10 offenses to avoid at this year’s company holiday bash.
First of all, the assertion that [Americans] place more emphasis on our careers as a way to define ourselves personally,” O’Donnell says has any basis in reality is questionable. Even if it were, the implication is that you may be abnormal, and even ‘unAmerican’. It is true people should take into consideration how their actions may affect whatever they do as a productive part of society. This could be why people refrain from company functions. In my opinion, what a person does while not on the clock should have no bearing at all when one is considered in their professional role. It is true one’s actions while off the clock could effect their performance while working for the company, but it is the performance itself, not the underlying causes that should be considered. In the above statement it isn’t even considered that it may be the other way around, that anyone taking into account another’s actions while off the clock while making any sort of evaluation, formal or otherwise, is the one being inappropriate.
So, here we begin the list…
1. Assuming you aren’t required to go.
Unless you’ve got an unbelievably good reason, you need to attend. Not attending speaks volumes about your attitude toward the company.
“If you can’t appreciate what the company is doing to celebrate the holidays and its efforts to make you feel like a part of their family, then you send a clear message that you don’t put much stock in the employee-employer relationship,” O’Donnell says.
If you absolutely can’t go, let management know in advance and give specific reasons why not.
First of all, any inappropriate assumptions are made by the company. It isn’t a requirement if compensation for a person’s time is not forthcoming. An employer and employee enter into a mutually binding agreement, which is that the company agrees to compensate an employee with an honest day’s pay for an honest day’s work, and the employee agrees to give an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay. This is what initiates the bullshit flag. Someone not attending such a function does not speak volumes about the person, but one assuming the requirement for someone to give up their time without adequate compensation does. An employer cannot legally require participation in such events. And I, for one, do not “appreciate what the company is doing to celebrate the holidays and its efforts to make you feel like a part of their family,…” Such ‘efforts’ are just ill conceived compulsions by someone that has no right whatsoever to impose them on another.
2. Dressing inappropriately.
Don’t dress as if you were going to a club or trolling for dates, O’Donnell says. Even if you’re hittin’ the town later, you still need to dress properly for the party.
“Maybe you’re known for being very stylish in your private life, but when it comes to a work function, it’s better to blend in as opposed to making a statement that might get misinterpreted,” she says.
If you show up and realize you aren’t dressed appropriately, try to make light of it. Better to acknowledge it’s not acceptable than pretend that it is.
The concept of appropriate dress has always been a sore spot with me. It is amazing that I got through 20 years in the service with the attitudes I have concerning how much one can impose a dress code on another. Someone imposing such things on another is a violation of that person’s basic liberties, but only if, of course, the person’s time is not being compensated for. The supposition that a company I work for can tell me where to be, not compensate me for the time spent there, then regulate my attire, is ludicrous.
Then there is the fact that the implication that the way a person dresses may get misinterpreted assumes that the responsibility for such judgments lies with the person being judged. This is true to a certain extent, but I believe relieving the person making assessments of another’s choice of clothing is unreasonable. Some of the responsibility must lie with the observer, however.
3. Attending on an empty stomach.
Holiday events typically involve drinks and appetizers before the meal. But, appetizers often don’t make it all the way through the crowd, O’Donnell says. It’s better to get some food in your stomach prior to the event so your first drink doesn’t go straight to your head.
“If you’re feeling ‘warm and fuzzy’ and realize you haven’t eaten in hours, put the drink down, switch to water and find some food,” she suggests.
I see ‘suggests’, but it comes across as demands. This, to me, is just nitpicky.
4. Pitching ideas to upper management.
Some folks view the company party as a way to schmooze the higher-ups or tell them their grand plans to save the company.
“While managers do use these events to meet and spend time with employees they don’t regularly come in contact with, they aren’t looking to strategize on work,” O’Donnell says. “Keep the talk to lighter subjects. There’s nothing worse than a brown-nosing badger to ruin a manager’s evening.”
Yes, by all means, only light conversation allowed. Nobody wants to hear the kiss-ass, least of all the boss. Why would anyone want to ruin a manager’s night? If the brown-noser is sucking up to the manager, the manager can’t be encouraging the new girl in the mail room to suck.
5. Getting drunk!
Seventy percent of companies are serving alcohol at their holiday parties this year, a 15 percent drop from last year, according to a recent survey.
There’s a reason for this, people!
Bottom line: Don’t drink excessively at the holiday party. You’ll end up saying or doing something you’ll regret.
6. Hooking up!
Co-workers secretly harboring feelings for each other often think it’s OK to act on those feeling at the holiday event, O’Donnell says. Not so.
“It’s important to act like you do at work. You’re not paid to get cozy on the job, and the holiday party is an extension of your job,” she says.
Keep your distance until after the event when you can have some privacy.
7. Bringing a ‘crazy’ date.
If your spouse or date is known as the ‘life of the party,’ there’s a chance he or she will make the night unforgettable – and not in a good way, O’Donnell says.
“Some people think, ‘It shouldn’t matter how they act, as long as I act OK,’” she says. “You’re guilty by association.”
Don’t give employers any reason to wonder if you aren’t as you appear on the job. If your date starts to make a scene, cut the night short.
Don’t get drunk, don’t hook up, keep your date in line. You need to appear normal, or rather, someone else’s idea of normal, which most of the time is not normal at all. “You’re guilty by association.” Yes, it’s too much to ask that your supervisors, those that are supposed to have more common sense, be able to employ some critical thinking and avoid irrational thinking such as guilt by association.
I had more to say about this, but it is getting tedious. Here are the rest of the points…
8. Being a ‘Scrooge.’
Don’t be a Debbie Downer and walk around with a scowl on your face, O’Donnell says. If you aren’t excited to be there, keep your thoughts to yourself.
“These events are meant to give employees an opportunity to connect on a personal level so they can relate to one another at work,” she says. “You don’t have to overdo it, but you have to at least do it.”
Check your negativity at the door, put on a smile and socialize.
9. Not using your best table manners.
It seems obvious, but for many, manners go out the door after business hours – especially with a drink in hand, O’Donnell says. No swearing, chew with your mouth closed and remember to say “please,” “thank you” and “excuse me.”
10. “Dirty dancing” or executing “athletic displays.”
“Even though krumping, bumping and grinding are all the rage, these moves have no place on the corporate dance floor,” O’Donnell advises. “Moreover, back flips, splits, jumps and spins can only lead to disaster.”
Keep moves clean and in control. Even if folks are begging for you to dance, O’Donnell says, keep in mind that everyone loves to watch other people embarrass themselves.
“If you aren’t excited to be here, keep your thoughts to yourself.” Here’s the reasoning; the company has a party, you should give up some of your time to attend, whether you want to or not, and consider it your duty. You should conduct yourself a specific way, one that is acceptable to another, and you should in the very least appear to be happy about all of this.
I like this one, “for many, manners go out the door after business hours…” The assumption is that a person’s conduct should follow a certain pattern, dictated by someone at the company. They also can determine which sounds a person utilizes to communicate to others are appropriate, ignoring the fact that these are merely a string of letters used to express thought patterns. I won’t even go into the fact that someone that finds certain words offensive will be the first to express those very same sentiments behind a façade of niceties and innuendos. (Ok well, I actually went into it, just a little though.)
The point to all this, my ranting above, is that the person that wrote this trash assumes a lot of authority over another. There is no basis for all the assumptions, but that doesn’t matter if those being imposed upon do nothing about it, or comply without question. The authority does not come from basic truths of human society, but from the consent of those enduring such impositions through inaction. The person that disseminated this in the company I work for finds the logic (the term is used loosely here) appealing, because they felt it would convince the employees enough to comply. The problem with the company throwing a party of this kind is that there is an implied hierarchy, that there will be people of several classes mingling in an effort to have a good time. The ways the ‘lower classes’ enjoy themselves are crude, but acceptable only in a certain social setting, but they are expected to have a good time anyway removed from that setting. It is expected, but also well known that the ‘upper classes’ dictating all this drivel would prefer the ability to enjoy themselves as the others do, but impose upon themselves these restrictions, and believe others should do the same.
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