Well, here we go again. I have another paper to write. The last one is done and turned in. I had to get help from the writing center on campus, they helped a little, but it took four visits... that's four hours, maxed out because you are limited to two visits a week, and I had two weeks to finish the paper after I started going there. I think the last person helped me the most, and she was the least interested in the task at hand. I was kinda upset at first, but all her questions were basic questions that broke it down like I needed it to be, so after a few minutes things were going ok, even if she did keep looking at her phone. I don't know if she was looking for a call or if she was checking out the time. Anyway, it didn't matter, it was kind of helpful. I can't tell, the paper looked the same to me every time I revised it really. And then I got the bright idea I could add some shit the night before I turned it in, that was because I asked the professor to look at it that day, and she gave me some ideas. Something helped cause she gave me an 'A'. I probably expressed too much concern to her the few times we discussed it, about the trouble I was having coming up with ideas, because she sent me an email a few days after turning in the paper to tell me about the grade. I was in a good mood the rest of the day. Of course, that may have been because I got a refund back from chemistry for stuff we didn't use, and I decided to buy Jon Stewart's book America, the Book. I read the first few pages right away, and man is that shit hilarious!!! Well, I was in a good mood, and the email just made things better.

Then there's the reason for this particular post. The same day I turned in the last essay she assigned the next one. It's kind of a long explanation, the assignment, but I'll try to break it down. It's a reflective essay.

"your essay is to reflect in contexts of ideology and hegemony, is to consider ways your life experience has been informed, shaped, determined by dominant ideological formations and ways in which you life experience has contributed to maintaining (or perhaps resisting) dominant ideology."

So, I've been stewing over it ever since, for the past 4 days. I've been going over this here blog trying to get ideas, but nothing is clicking. The time allotted for this one is short, it's due just after Thanksgiving, so I don't have as much time to stew about it. It doesn't have to be as long, but I don't think that matters at all. Once I get an idea I should be ok, ok enough to have something to turn in that is. I had a few ideas, but I have to write about how I fit into society and how being the race, age, gender that I am has effected my experiences.

I thought about the times while a drill instructor for the Marines that other Marines would try to be overbearing toward me because of my laid back demeanor. Not sure how I would fit that into the assignment though. Damn, I haven't even touched on my idea, and the Khalua with Bailey's is starting to affect me. I better get these fingers moving faster!!!

Then I thought about religion. Hell, I could talk all day about that shit. There are a few incidents I might be able to use, but there isn't much I remember cause my experience with the catholic church was decades ago, and I was a lot younger. The one incident I will probably never forget happened one day we were practicing for communion. Another boy had done something one of the 'sisters' didn't like, and he was on the steps leading up to the alter. I don't remember exactly what, but I think maybe he was on the wrong step, and she yanked his ass off the stairs so hard he lost his balance and fell on his ass. I'm pretty sure that's what turned me off to religion, and it's only been downhill since. It must be downhill, there are some dictionaries that use 'immorality' to define atheism.

So, I've been resisting to the max the ideology of theism. Is theism an ideology? I don't even fucking know for sure. I guess I'll have to look the shit up again, along with hegemony. I have to have something by Tuesday because I made an appointment to talk to her about whatever I come up with. That's what this was supposed to be about too, free writing in an effort to give me ideas about what to write. Ain't too many ideas coming out this though.....